I am not that person anymore
I have visions where I briefly awake to see myself captive on the deck of a ship.
On this plane, I’m only conscious long enough to see stars streaking by as we move through space at incredible speeds.
Before the vision/connection ends, a male figure casually walks towards me from the front of the ship and puts me back to sleep, severing the connection.
This vision, and others like it, has me wondering about my existence and brings me back to one of the most existential questions of all—who am I?
I still don’t know the answer, but contemplating it, I’m realizing what I am not.
It was so clear the other day:
The stronger and the more sensitive my awareness becomes, I notice pieces of what I once thought was me being stripped away like obsolete programming, giving way to upgrades.
And that habit, emotion, or whatever is
connected to it just ceases to exist, and a sense of relief is embodied.
Even though I know that pretty much all of me is to be let go, I still firmly hold on to some parts that I consciously know must go.
It’s hard, though. Really hard.
The next obsolete program I’m conscious of and want to get rid of is being defensive instead of facing the truth/situation head-on, with love and compassion.
—Dane Broderick