Some life moments, induced by stress, overtake, multiply and spill over into all areas of one’s life, affecting us in ways we are always late to realize.
You find yourself more often in delicate situations. Hints elude, sentences interrupted, you are closed and expressively harsh. You almost stopped caring. forgetting your strengths.
How can anyone reach a stubborn mind with reason alone, when an ear and being understanding is not enough?
Of all the roads normally open to your heart, to your person, only one is ajar. Yet not enough for me to enter, nor for you to see why not.
I want to be there to hold, and love you. Not to inaccurately translate your current needs into you needing space to think or to just be.
I cannot get past the something-is-off feeling and therefore shutdown and retreat, thinking a reset in our mutual corner is the solution…
Knowing in my heart it never is, yet still willing to take the risk and not accepting my full part in the relationship, which always should be a hundred percent.
Anything less is putting the faults onto you as a thing you alone can, and should, fix.
That is of course not the way!
I know that now. And the way through any future situations, like this one, is for each of us owning and having one hundred percent responsibility for the relationship.
The use of a code word is a brilliant idea. A word just for us that says, shut up and hold me. Give me affection. Love me with all my faults and insecurities.